


could roses bloom?

by solange_lol



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan, The Trials of Apollo - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst, Breakups, M/M, sorry y'all this is just the mood im in hhh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-03
Updated: 2019-09-03
Packaged: 2020-10-06 04:12:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20500682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/solange_lol/pseuds/solange_lol
Summary: Nico thought falling in love was scary.Turns out falling out of it is so much worse.





	could roses bloom?

Nico’s chest feels tight, almost like he’s suffocating. 

Except there’s nothing around him but the wide-open spaces of camp. 

His heart, though, is clenched in his chest. His head is pounding, and he just feels so overwhelmed by all the emotion.

A few months ago, it was good emotions. Every time he saw Will, his heart clenched. Gentle hands on his shoulder and back sent electric currents through his body. Every time they kissed, heat pooled in his body and his brain went haywire.

Now, the electric currents were replaced by fire, burning up through his arms and his legs and screaming  _ get away from me. _

He thought falling in love was scary.

Turns out falling  _ out _ of it is so much worse.

The love that Will gave him was so different than what he was used to. He wondered if he would ever feel that same sort of love again.

_ What if he never did? _

Nico clenches his jaw. He opens his eyes. He’s standing in the middle of the field; around him is meter wide circle of dead grass. Campers are passing, staring at him in confusion and fear.

This hasn’t happened since he and Will got together. 

_ Guess they better get used to it. _

Nico’s supposed to meet Will in a minute outside the infirmary. He remembers so many days of anticipation until he could spend the rest of the day with his boyfriend. 

How  _ in love  _ he felt. 

Nico would do anything to get that feeling back.

He can’t do it now.

He  _ has _ to do it now.

Nico knows he owes it to Will to do it now. He can’t drag this out any longer than he already has.

He wishes he could still believe that this was just his anxiety. They were nearing their one year anniversary, and this was Nico’s first relationship. He had been worried throughout it all, knowing that this wasn’t going to last. He knew they were going to break up eventually. There was too much in life to experience. Too much self-discovery to be done. 

Maybe it was that attitude that ended their relationship so much quicker than Nico wanted to.

Part of him wanted to take the coward's way out. Maybe just leave a note in Will’s cabin or in the infirmary for him to find and when he does, Nico would already be gone to the Underworld for a few months.

That wouldn’t be right though. He needs to do this right, if not for him, then for Will. 

(Nico is planning on leaving. For a little while, at least. He still needs space to think, and Will probably will too.)

Nico can see Will from where he’s standing, shutting the door of the infirmary.

He’s out of time. 

He has to do this now.

Will turns at the sound of footsteps. He looks exhausted, burdened by something that he carries on his shoulder. For a moment, Nico hopes the burden is _ him. _ Maybe that would make it easier on Will.

Will turns, and some of the tension seems to be relieved just by their eyes meeting, Internally, Nico curses at himself. Will is still very clearly in love with him.

This is going to break him. 

It doesn't matter anymore, though. Nico needs to do this for himself.

He just needs to  _ breathe _ again, goddammit. 

“We need to talk.”

He says it before Will can even greet him, and he sees the other boy practically deflate just at the four words, already knowing what's coming for him. 

“This is hard for me because I care about you. So much,” he takes a deep breath, not sure how to phrase this. “Except, something happened. I don’t know what. But I don’t love you anymore. Not like I used to.”

Nico briefly remembers Will telling him that people can die from a broken heart. The look on his face once he’s done talking makes Nico’s heart beat painfully.

He knows what he says is like slowly torturing someone with a butter knife, because he sees Will’s face twist in denial, then anger, and then sadness. 

His throat is dry as he continues. “You deserve so much more than what I can give you right now. And I don’t want to lead you on any longer than I already have. If we’re meant to be together, we’ll figure that out later in life.” 

He swallows “This might not be the end forever, just for now.”

Nico doesn’t know what to say anymore, doesn’t know how to make this better. Will hasn’t said anything, now just staring at the ground as tears escape from his eyes, and he hurries to wipe them away. 

Finally, Will speaks. “How long?”

“A month or so,” Nico feels like he’s choking on guilt. He really should have done this earlier, but he wanted to be sure that this was the last possible solution. 

No amount of conversation was going to help something like this. There was no forcing him to love Will, as much as he wishes everything could go back to the way it was. 

This is the only thing that will make him feel good again. 

Nico turns to leave, but he left out one part. “Just, um, don’t try and contact me, okay? I’m going to the Underworld for a while.”

There’s a silence, which Nico takes as a cue to walk away into a nearby shadow from a rose bush. 

Away from his boyfriend.

_ Ex- _ boyfriend. 

Right before he can disappear into the shadows, Will calls out. “Be safe. I love you, Nico.”

Nico feels a sob build up in his throat. “I love you too,” he responds quickly.

He disappears into the shadows, thorns cutting the ankles of his already-broken soul. 

**Author's Note:**

> please dont ask me to write a second chapter of this!!! its based on a personal breakup and ill feel better if i leave it be as it is rather than trying to fix everything bc uhh life aint perfect y'all 
> 
> tumblr is @solange-lol


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